Never Put These 6 Things in the Microwave 🚫

Yesterday, TOM introduced a metal spoon to a running microwave. The results were spectacular in all the wrong ways. Today, inspired by Chapter 17's scorched aftermath, we're doing what TOM never thought to do first: making a list.

The microwave is one of those appliances that feels completely safe — it's a box, it has a door, it heats things. What could go wrong? As TOM has conclusively demonstrated, quite a lot. And the spoon is only the beginning. There's a whole category of everyday objects that have absolutely no business going inside a microwave, and most of us have probably attempted at least one of them.

Here are the six most common offenders — and why each one is a genuinely bad idea.

The 6 Things to Keep Out of Your Microwave 🚫

✕🍴 Metal Objects

Forks, spoons, foil trays, twist ties — all cause arcing, sparks, and can damage the magnetron or start a fire. TOM's spoon is exhibit A.

✕🥚 Whole Eggs

Microwaves heat the inside faster than the outside. A whole egg (in or out of its shell) builds steam pressure until it explodes — often spectacularly, always messily.

✕🫙 Sealed Containers

Anything airtight — lidded jars, sealed pouches, closed takeaway containers — traps steam. Pressure builds until the seal fails, usually violently and in your face.

✕🛍️ Plastic Bags

Most plastic bags aren't microwave-safe. They can melt onto food, leach chemicals, or trap steam and burst. Only use containers marked microwave-safe.

✕☕Empty Mugs or Cups

An empty mug has nothing to absorb the microwave energy — so the mug itself absorbs it instead, potentially superheating, cracking, or shattering. Always put liquid inside before heating.

✕🌶️Hot Peppers

Microwaving chillies or hot peppers releases capsaicin into the air as a fine mist. Opening the door means a face full of airborne pepper. It is, by all accounts, extremely unpleasant.

✅ The Golden Rule

If it's metal, sealed, empty, or explosive — it doesn't go in. When in doubt, check whether the container is marked microwave-safe before you press start.

Common Microwave Myths — Busted 💥

Half the microwave mishaps in the world start with a confident assumption that turns out to be wrong. Here are the ones we hear most often.

❌ Myth

"A quick zap is fine — the metal won't have time to spark."

✅ Reality

Arcing starts within seconds of the cycle beginning. There is no safe window. The spoon goes in, sparks happen.

❌ Myth

"You can microwave an egg if you pierce the shell first."

✅ Reality

Piercing the shell helps but doesn't guarantee safety. The yolk can still build pressure and explode. Scramble it first, or use the hob.

❌ Myth

"Gold-trimmed plates are probably fine to microwave."

✅ Reality

Metallic trim — gold, silver, or otherwise — causes arcing just like solid metal. If a plate has any metallic decoration, keep it out of the microwave.

❌ Myth

"All plastic containers are safe in the microwave."

✅ Reality

Only containers explicitly marked "microwave-safe" should be used. Standard takeaway boxes, yoghurt pots, and carrier bags are not designed for microwave heat.

What to Do If Something Goes Wrong 🔥

If the microwave starts sparking, smoking, or making alarming noises mid-cycle — here's the sequence:

1. Press stop immediately. Don't wait to see what happens next. Stop the cycle.

2. Don't open the door straight away. If there's smoke or smouldering inside, keeping the door closed starves it of oxygen. Wait a moment before opening.

3. Unplug at the wall if there's any sign of continued burning, smoke, or an unusual smell.

4. If a fire takes hold, do not open the door. Keep it shut, leave the kitchen, close the door behind you, and call 999. Never use water on an electrical fire.

🇬🇧 UK Kitchen Safety Reminder

In the UK, kitchen fires account for the majority of accidental house fires. The three most common causes are: unattended cooking, overheated fat or oil, and electrical appliance faults — including microwave misuse.

If a fire starts in the kitchen and cannot be safely extinguished within seconds, get out, close the door, and call 999. For non-emergency appliance safety advice, contact your local fire service or visit the Gov.uk fire safety guidance pages.

⚠️ In a Real Emergency

Electrical fires and water do not mix. Never pour water on a burning microwave or any electrical appliance. Get out, keep the door closed to slow the spread, and call 999.

TOM's Chapter 17 experiment was not a complete waste. Yes, his microwave is ruined. Yes, the soup never got warm. But you now have a list. A proper, comprehensive, TOM-tested list of exactly what not to do — which is arguably more useful than any amount of soup.

Tomorrow in Chapter 18, TOM moves from the kitchen to the living room. The air freshener incident awaits. If you thought a spoon in a microwave was inadvisable, TOM has found a way to make an entire room uninhabitable using only a single can of lavender spray.

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